Surrender

Spring of 95, mama, daddy, granny, & papa drove to my dorm at Averett college to tell me of mama’s breast cancer diagnosis. 30 years ago exactly, surrender became “my word”. I rode back with them sandwiched in between my precious granny and solid papa terrified for my mama. I went to church with daddy that Sunday and the final song was “I Surrender All”. I’ve thought about that word a lot over the last several years. 

I literally have the best friends. I’ve said that before with the challenges I’ve faced. Most have you have journeyed those w me - whether my family breaking or mama and daddy leaving this earth. I’m honored to have you w me still and a small handful of you are new friends but have become dear, close friends. 

Just yesterday I was told I have a small tumor on my pancreas. 2.4X2.9 cm . . . it doesn’t seem that small when you actually measure it. (Banana slice or little bit larger than a penny).

See where I’m going with this long email . . . . here I am surrendering again. 

I’m sorry for a mass email but in my opinion it’s better than a mass text. Texting became a lot yesterday. I wanted to keep this news close to me and Duane. (and honestly still do w/ in this group) I wanted to have more answers before I shared. I want to protect our kids from the unknown. But waiting to share would only cut down on the prayers we can all pray to get ahead of the answers. Daddy told me sharing news with others adds more praying people to the circle. So not only do I have the best friends, I have the best praying circle!

It’s important to note that I see God in His mighty creativity in this. My original appointment to figure out why I was having these strange symptoms (extreme fatigue, no appetite, dark urine, light poop - see we’re good friends!, itchiness, a little skin yellowing) wasn’t until May 21 but bc of Gods creativity in friendships I was able to get an appointment May 2nd. 

I believe in miracles. Many of you know the story of my 4 year old Jacob at North Run pre k confidently telling his music teacher “a miracle is something only God can do”. I’m armoring up, expectant for His miracle in this for us.

if you would be so kind to pray:

• procedure scheduled for this week to determine size, tissue, placement, etc and for stint that will relieve some of the previously mentioned discomforts
• miracle that it would reduce or even be gone!
• that it will be operable
• that it’s benign
• that my sweet fella and I get rest; Duane hasn’t left my side 
• duane jacob ben emilyI’m so scared and I’ve told a few of you I really want my mama. 

 I’ve promised God I will honor Him through this. 

Thanks for allowing my realness and basically reading my journal - you all know I’m wordy! I’m aware I am all over the place! 

Thanks for the scriptures, songs, & prayers you have sent. Keep them coming! And if you email back, just reply to me. 

so much love for you all.

Regina & Duane