Oh Mama . . .

It’s a phrase I utter often.

It’s been a solid year since I last spoke to my very first, forever best friend . . . . or actually, since I audibly heard her respond. I do “write” to her . . . My journals are titled “oh mama”. I ask her things I’ll never know the answer to and it pains me.

I’ve asked God often for a dream date w/ mama and daddy, to feel her awkward side hug and squeeze from him. I’ve had just 1 . . . . longing and praying for one tonight.  

Grief is a weird thing. Seasons of MY grief have included:

~ bittersweet ~ joy & tears when I rest in the creativity of God . . . . We have a beautiful, creative story in Him.  I know that’s a treasure that only I can fully understand and appreciate.  

~ for so long I told myself I just need to get over missing my parents;  I have to face it, I am not the only one who has lost their parents.  I am not getting any younger and simply need to accept as it’s the season we are entering.  

~ my hardest season has been most recent . . . It has always been the three of us.  I KNOW I wasn’t abandoned BUT I do often feel “left out”, or left behind.  We were our own little trio, even when I “grew up” and on my own, started our family etc.  It has always been us 3.

~ I KNOW the pain from missing them is simply because they loved me so well.  THAT is why the ache is so deep.  THAT is why I am so grateful.

~ It aches me that a year has gone by and I still have a lifetime to go w/ out them.  Actually aches me to my core.

~ Most of all . . . . I am grateful I had parents who not only loved me but pointed me to truth, life, & love in Jesus; because they did, they are together and I will get to see them again.  

~ They would want YOU to know Jesus too.  Mama & Daddy had a confident, assurance filled, relationship with Jesus and will rest in Heaven for eternity. 

Love is Forever. Always Together.